Relationship Deal Makers and Breakers

Due to the vengeful comments of some woman that feels rejected by me as a result of my post Husband Resume, I want to provide some insight into how I choose a partner–well… my next partner lol

Honesty/Dishonesty

I shouldn’t have to explain this one, but I do.  I mean the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  If you slept with an entire basketball team while on a week long drug bender, don’t say that you never had a threesome.  Tell me the truth.  Think about how much trust will be gained by such an admission.  It takes courage and character to admit that we do some weird stuff along our journey.  I can’t trust someone that claims to be perfect when it comes to society’s norms–I know people way too well to buy that bullshit.

Love/Practicality

I will not be the guy you just happen to be with when you freak out about getting old and want to fulfill your white dress suburban fantasy.  I am willing to wait for someone looking to build a relationship based on real love and a personal connection.

A couple in love–“for better or worse”–will be happy and content, and can overcome any obstacle.  A couple based on reciprocity (“for better”) only works when the external things go well… and we don’t have total control of those.  People lose jobs, entire industries disappear, skin sags, shit happens.  If that thing they wanted from you disappears–so will they.  That’s no way to build a life–or live it.

Passive Aggressive

If you are very passive-aggressive, then we are not going to work out.  My personality doesn’t jive with someone who refuses to give positive input into the relationship and instead sabotages me to punish me for not listening to the words they didn’t say.

Assertive/Unopinionated or Controlling

When I ask what flavor ______ you want–don’t ask me to choose.  Take responsibility for you life and be thankful you are not with a guy that doesn’t give you any choices.

And don’t choose for me.  I am not your property.  I will not be “whipped”.  If you disagree with something I do–or don’t do, then lets discuss it like adults.  Don’t try to intimidate me or force me to do what you want.

Basically, let’s just work things out and not have a huge blow-up over which video to rent.

Loyal/Cheater

I see women look at me as if to say “I want your sperm”–while they hold their husband’s hand.  I see it daily.  In my experience, at least 50% of women fit into this group.  I expect many feminists will freak out at me for saying this and call me a sexist and then say that men are worse.  Then I will laugh.

Realistically, we are all drawn to attractive people for many innocent reasons.  I don’t mind you admiring some guy, as my attraction to beautiful women will not stop once we are together.

Besides receiving resources, ending a relationship, or boosting self-esteem (all well documented) most women look to cheating when they are satisfied with their current partner, but wanting better genetics for their offspring.  My genes are pretty awesome, so if you are looking, it must be for one of the other reasons.

Victim Mentality

People with a victim mentality find, and make, ways for themselves to be victims.  Marriage is such a close partnership that the partner is also victimized.  Stay away from these people.

Feminine

Angry feminists: Start your engines! lol

I am not my car or my job or my social status.  I am not a stereotype.  I am a man.  I would be a man in the jungle or the dessert, the city or country, or another country or culture.  I want you to be a woman that is not afraid of being a woman because of some feminist penis envy that tries to make all women into men and call it “equality”.  Be as cute as a girl, pretty as a woman, and strong as a mother.  Just be your true self.

I want you to cook me dinner–because I cooked last night (and I’m a damn good cook).  I want you to come home from work, or a baby shower, put your feet up, and ask me to get you a beer.  Because you aren’t like other girls.

Sexy

A Catholic Priest once said that sex is the glue of marriage.  I would use the word intimacy in place of sex, but I basically agree.

I love sex.  I luvz it.  I love passionate love-making and all the kinky, taboo things that you like too 😉  There are two types of people in this world–perverts and repressed perverts.  I hope you are the first kind.

“Sexy” should not be confused with attractive or pretty.  Sexuality is emotional and mental.  If you are not sexy–its in your head–and therefor in your power to change.

Giving/Selfish

Don’t try to get what you want at my expense–that is not a partnership.

When two people both attempt to make the lives of both better, things have a tendency to work out.  When they only try to make their own lives better, they will fight each other instead of the external forces–then they will blame each other for the external forces and boom–the lawyers get half.  Sometimes, life is just fucking poetic.

Snuggling

If you are going to be with me, at some point in the first month, I want to go to the fridge to get a glass of milk and find that you are still attached.  I want to hold you every time I see you.  I want to wake up in each other’s arms.

Where art thou, Philosopher Princess?

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3 responses to “Relationship Deal Makers and Breakers

  1. Your post rocks!
    A couple based on reciprocity (“for better”) only works when the external things go well…

    Very true! Thats the difference between Attraction (Minds Creation) and Love (Souls Connection) !

    The root is when either of the partner while dating/relationship/marriage expect, the other one to be the missing piece in their life..and hold each other responsible to make them happy.

  2. richmondtommy

    The only thing I really don’t agree with is the part about telling you their past sexcapades. What someone does before they met you is actually none of your business and you are a bit off kilter for wanting to know everything they ever did. We have all made mistakes and some of them we would rather not ever talk about. The rest is cool, I love honest, intelligent and giving people too.

  3. thequantumbuddha

    Richmondtommy, thanks for the coments. I would say that in the era of HIV and many other STI’s that the history of our partners is our business.

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